My Heart in Liberia

It's been almost three months since my trip to Liberia. I can't wait to go back. To this day, I feel as if I have left a piece of my heart in Liberia. It was hard to come back. I was consumed with guilt initally. I have so much more than I realize. I take a lot for granted as well. I know when I turn on the faucet, clean water will come out. When I flip on the switch, the light will come on. When I open the fridge, food will be there. I am consumed with a desire to help this nation. Hardly a day has gone by in the past three months that I haven't looked through my pictures. The children's faces are embeded in my memory.

I spent most of the night memorizing bible verses. Dave has challenged us to memorize so many verses each week. I am quickly reminded how I haven't been using my brain as much as I should. It's been a bit of a struggle, but I think I doing good.

I also spent the night trying to think of things to do for the kids while I'm gone. I'm going to record some books on tape for them. Kent isn't much for reading bedtime stories. I also thought I might leave some notes for them each day so that they have somewhat of an idea of where I am or what I'm "suppose" to be doing that day. God may have an entirely different plan for me. The longest I've left either kid is one week (not even a full week). Leaving the kids for this long is definitely going to be difficult for me as well as them.

Tomorrow is 3 weeks to the day. I'm getting very excited. The suspense of the whole trip is driving me crazy!!

Well, it's just about 3 weeks until I leave for Liberia, Africa for my first mission trip with my church, Harvest Christian Fellowship.I have spent the past several months researching Liberia online. I've subscribed to Google alerts, blogs, etc. I've read books, "Blue Clay People" and "The House at Sugar Beach". I've searched maps of Liberia. I've looked at thousands of pictures of Liberia online. I felt I was very prepared for this mission trip. I now knew the history, culture, language (to some extent...they actually speak English), etc. However, our minister gave us a prayer journal that started January 12. A couple of things stood out to me like no other. One was the statement, "If you try to go down this road using your strength and using your wisdom, you will be frustrated". That statement alone got me worried. Then on day 3, I read, "If you think when you get to Liberia you are going to shine for Jesus without any preparation beforehand, you will probably fail miserably. Your call in life is not to prepare FOR the mission field...it is TO prepare this mission field. The mission field IS your heart." Wow! That spoke volumes. Here I have been doing all my research feeling all prepared, but what had I really done to prepare my heart?I have started reading God's word daily, memorizing verses and praying feverishly. My prayer I seem to pray the loudest is for God to take away my fears. With only a few weeks left, fear has crept into my life and is making its presence known. I have started doing things to prepare for the worst case scenario. I keep thinking of all the things Kent might not know. Granted these are good things to prepare, but fear is causing me to prepare them now. Not so good.I feel like I have so many things left to do. I still need my typhoid shot, need to get prescriptions filled for Malaria and antibiotics. I need to make a list of everything I need to take. There won't be any stopping at a Wal-Mart when I get there. My prayer today is for God to give me a heart which will not fear. I also pray that God reveals himself to me. I continue to pray for my family while I am gone.